November rain

Swiss coffee sucks. Italian coffee is excellent. New Zealand coffee will give Italian coffee a run for it’s money any day of the week!!
I had forgotten how fabulous a NZ flat white is (café latte). Strong coffee and milk that has a consistency that can only be described as luxurious.
Our second day Down Under started in a little café/dairy/post office. As it turns out the café is actually closed as it is “under new management and nothing has been decided on yet” warbled the lovely Tania from behind the coffee machine in the dairy/post office.
Never the less we were invited to sit down at a solitary table by the window which, had a spectacular view of the beach and of the bright red post boxes. A handy spot indeed if you were an undercover FBI agent waiting for an “unsub/perp” to come and clear their mail box. As we hadn’t eaten much for dinner the night before coupled by the fact that it was dinnertime in Europe, we were ravenous. We had a choice between pies and slices.
I of course went for the mince and cheese and Dodo had a bacon and egg pie. It was Dodo first pie in New Zealand.....pies are hot…. Dodo burnt her mouth……. what did we learn from this??? “You must always blow on the pie”
With 2 pies, 2 flat whites, orange juice and because we were feeling decadent a caramel slice we settled down to plan our day’s adventure. This is where the fun really began….. Dodo got her first taste of Kiwi hospitality……

Nothing was too much for our new BFF Tania.  She made us first class coffees, told us stories about the earthquakes , showed us pictures of her Cup Day dress  and looked up the addresses of campsites that she recommended that we checkout in Hanmer Springs the phonebook…. yes the phonebook…. remember those???
We ordered another coffee each and watched the show as the locals came in and out, buying the newspaper, collecting their mail, etc.
It was better than any of those cheesy reality shows followed by millions all over the world...... Finally we decided to move on, not before Tania buttered one of her homemade scones for us to take with us and once again produced the phone book to look up the address of the AA office in Christchurch (she even drew us a map!!!!).

We headed off back into the city to run various errands one of which was to get a car charger for our Tom Tom. We stumbled across a Bond and Bond outlet store and decided to try our luck. Once again we received stellar service. This time from an arachnophobic Cantabrian whose name I don’t recall. He served us swiftly and efficiently all the time cracking jokes that were right on the money.
Having achieved all the little things that we need to do jumped back in the Batmobile, and headed towards Hanmer Springs.
Im not kidding about the name of the camper….. check it out on the escape rentals site.
http://www.escaperentals.co.nz/vans/Batman.asp.

The drive was breath taking. As we drove along the road heading north, with more beauty on both sides than I've ever seen. I almost felt that we were intruding. Left and right there were hills and fields as far as the eye could see. The few houses and the number eight wire fences that made straight lines all the way out to the horizon were the only signs of life for kilometers around. I have always heard people referring to New Zealand as Godzone, and now for the first time I really understand why.  The landscape was both soft and rugged at the same time the rolling hills that turned into sharp cliff faces with rocks of all shapes and sizes poking out of the lush green grass that over time has grown around them.  Even the gorse bushes with their bright yellow flowers that blanketed the hills sides brought beauty to the table.
Hanmer Springs is famous for it thermal springs; well spring to be exact. I have to say we were a bit disappointed...Seeing so much beauty really takes its toll, we were completely exhausted by the time we got there and the arduous job of finding a campsite still lay before us. The one that our BFF had recommended was booked out and the others that we looked at were not what we were looking for, we had one last site to look at and it was pretty much do or die; we were too tired to look anywhere else and it was getting late...
We drove up to a little privately owned place, the TLC that the owners bestowed on it was immediately obvious, and the price was right. we parked our camper next to a tent that was smaller than a Porter Loo... but big enough for two sporty French people. It was freezing cold and we bunkered down in the Batmobile wearing loads of layers and all the blankets we had piled on top of us...... dreaming of warmer weather and the seafood paradise of Kiakoura....

We woke up early the next morning and the weather was nothing less than gorgeous; full of energy we hit State Highway One in search of sunshine and crayfish.
The drive was spectacular and the weather was on our side.... until we got our first glimpse of the ocean... all of a sudden clouds started to roll in... not fluffy white ones that remind you of cotton wool but the big black scary ones that you can almost hear screaming  "shows over folks".
After checking out a couple of camp grounds, there had been no change in the weather. The charcoal sky seemed to mirror the volcanic sand that was taking a merciless beating from the waves that were pounding relentlessly against the shoreline.
 We drove at snails pace down the "main-drag" trying not to lose hope when suddenly a blackboard that quite possibly fell from the heavens themselves caught my eye... double rooms $49... hmmm interesting... the hotel looked a little run down, quite possibly a remnant from a time when drovers herded sheep and cattle across this wild paradise. We snapped up the key to the room and plopped down on a bed that reminded me of a bouncy castle.  After hot shower and some intense chilling-out later we were starving. We bundled up against the elements and set out in search of something to quieten our rumbling bellies... and boy did we find it! A jumbo sized Porterhouse steak with hand-cut chips, (chups) a mushroom sauce and a side salad,for 15 bucks.... that and a pint of Speight's the world was right again. The heavens opened up but who cares? We had full bellies and cold beer. We got chatting to 2 Aussies at the same table and ending up becoming a team for the pub quiz.... If I said we were crap, it would be an understatement..... Dodo and George (the XY chromosome in our team) had to do a drink off to stop us being the wooden spoon holders of the evening...turns our the 4 of us were as thick as two short planks but D&G are fantastic drinkers....well done guys!!! That rounded off our third day Down Under...I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Breathless

Every other time that I have paid copious amounts of hard earned cash to stuff myself into a pressurized tincan where I relinquish all hopes of sleep and reduce my culinary choices to, " fish or chicken madam",  I have flown directly in to the City of Sails. Don't get me wrong it's not that Mangere doesn't have its charms, but the images that that were flooded upon me yesterday morning are going to be my retinas screen saver of choice for a long time to come.

Yes, yes, I've seen Lord of the Rings.... I mean who hasn't? But even that couldn't prepare me for the stark beauty of the Southern Alps. Living in Switzerland I've seen my share of snow capped mountains, but these guys just took my breath away. The shear size and ruggedness of them was proof again what a force to be reckoned with Mother Nature really is. I watched in silence as the landscape ever so slowly changed from an untamed wilderness into something that the human race has harnessed for it's own use.

The taxi ride from Christchurch International Airport to pick up our camper, was both a comforting and sobering experience. The familiar wide streets and non European cars parked along them, and the lollipop girls stopping traffic so the children from a local primary school could traverse the street safely, brought back a sense of normality that was comforting and reminded me of days gone by. This however, was about to change...

We rounded a corner and passed Hagley park and just as promptly as I had felt comfortable, I felt horrified. I caught a tiny glimpse downtown of Christchurch. I can not even begin to imagine the fear that was felt by these people when the earthquake struck. I was in Italy when it happened and there's nothing like a natural disaster to make you feel far away from home. I got many kind phone calls that day from friends who wanted to check on the safety of my loved ones which, in a way helped to bridge the gap created by oceans and continents. Staring out that taxi window looking at the massive man made structures that had succumb to the angry battle being fought by the tectonic plates that are floating quietly beneath our feet. As I took in the wreckage, I felt a lump rise in my throat, I shuddered to think what I would do if the earth suddenly decided to rebel against Auckland, Zurich or any of the other beautiful places that I have been fortunate enough to visit or even call my home. I guess as melodramatic as it may sound what I felt was a little bit of heartbreak for the city of Christchurch, and my fellow landsmen that call this little slice of heaven home.

We arrived at Escape Rentals and retrieved the keys to what will be our home for the next eleven days. It all went down in typical Kiwi style with lots of smiles and a liberal helping of the word "mate". Dodo jumped up into the driver's seat (I, to be honest had to climb up using the arm rest on the door as a boost) and we drove of with a slight amount of trepidation... ahhhhh, driving on the left hand side of the road... fun will be had by all...
We stopped off at the first supermarket that we found to stock up on supplies for our first night on the road (remember how I told you I had to climb up into the van? Good for you! I forgot, and just about face planted in to the car full of grinning kids parked next to us.)
The supermarket was as cold and large as I remember New Zealand supermarkets to be and for a little bit I think I know how Charlie and those other kids felt the first time they went into the chocolate factory. I resisted the urge to pick up a basket and skip down the aisles, collecting as much as I could carry while humming the tune to the Smurfs.
We got the basics: wine, Vogel's bread, cheddar cheese and garlic mussels, gassed up our home on wheels and headed off to discover New Zealand's South Island in a way that it has never been discovered before.

Dodo is quite handy for the fact that she can spend hours online, reading guide books, researching and compiling information on some of the beautiful places that we are going to see. I however, am fairly useless in this respect... My preparation for the trip was composed of buying the guide book for Dodo, calling Rebecca to let her know, that that we'd be swinging by and throwing some undies and t-shirts in my suitcase. The first place that Dodo's research has led us to is Akaroa, and it has a charm that only rural New  Zealand can. The roads are narrow and winding, the hills are majestic and yessssssss, there are beaches... One of which I'm sitting on right now, in my pajamas, writing this!

The first campground we found was... well, a rip-off and we didn't feel comfortable at all. I've never been to Florida before but on T.V. I have seen all the people, of a certain age, sitting around drinking Mojitos and getting a tan... It was a bit like this but swap the Mojitos for ridiculously large motor homes. Our fatigue got the better of us and we decided to stay there anyway...then we changed our minds... we went out for a bit of a drive and saw the most beautiful little campground, flanked by a little rocky beach. We pulled in and had a chat with the manager, 15 mins later we were unpacking enjoying the sounds of the tiny waves rolling up along the shoreline, and the native birds piping out a concert that Justin Bieber could only dream of.

Leaving on a jet plane

It's my first time in an A360 and I have to say I'm not unimpressed. This thing is massive, to be honest I'm surprised that it doesn't have it's own area code.
We were lucky enough to be able to choose our own seats and of course my eyes searched in vain for seats on the emergency exit row which, of course where all already taken. We settled for the last row on the right hand side of our monster transporter. There were a couple of reasons for this; the first and for anyone who's ever spent more than half an hour with me, the most obvious...it's really close to the toilets! The second was a bit more of a gamble but I figured that as there were only three seats, there might be a chance that no one would choose the solitary seat to our left. I put all of our collective chips on 62 J and K and as chance would have it we were able to claim all 3 seats as our own.

Every cloud has a silver lining they say, but clouds themselves are usually there for one of two things, to block the sun or to rain on your parade - and the very loud German man located about a kilometer away from us is trying very hard to make sure that not only our parade sees moisture but the passengers in the rows in front of us also look like they are about to reach for their umbrellas...

As far as airline food goes, lunch wasn't too bad. It would seem that Lady Luck, although on our side so far has a sense of humor...Today is the 25th of November...... and on this very day in 1995 I left home and headed for the land of cheese and chocolate. On the way to the airport I promised myself something...Not, I will save my pennies for a rainy day or anything quite so profound..... But, I will never eat mashed potatoes ever again... (Childhood trauma... Don't ask ) So I'm offering 10 free points to anyone who can guess what was on the menu... "Yes, you in the back with the red hoodie"... "Speak up please I can't hear you over the German guy"... "Correct MASHED BLOODY POTATOES..."
Everything else was great and even if the gingerbread cake didn't put visions of sugar plum fairies in my head the couple of glasses of red wine that I needed to wash it down, will probably do so soon.

Time to start flipping through the entertainment choices, of which there are many. My love
of the Cape Crusader will most likely win but a Big Bang Theory marathon to send me into the land of nod also has its appeals (Sheldon for president).

I'm off to see the wizzard

I can't believe that it's really real; I can't believe that we are really leaving on Sunday. It seems like a million years ago that we booked our ticket. It was in fact "only" 10 months ago. The 5th of February to be exact, the day before Waitangi day. Dodo was doing the dishes and I was sitting at the kitchen table perusing the New Zealand Herald online (having cooked dinner, I was relieved of the washing up duties...)

You know those ads that pop up unwanted? The ones that promise you cheap this and cheap that? Well, I guess this was the day that I was destined to use my itchy mouse finger to explore the unknown. I clicked on the cheap flights to New Zealand ad and was rerouted to the STA website.

I tapped in some dates, just out of curiosity and was pretty shocked at what came back. The quoted price was around half of what I had seen up till then so my skepticism was well founded.

Enter departure airport, click, enter destination, click, enter dates, click, enter number of passengers, click... All of a sudden my doubts were washed down the drain with the dirty dishwater...I was almost frantic trying to convince Dodo that this was the flight and today was the day that we NEEDED to book our far off in the future holiday. She presented many reasons why there was no way that we should book right this second… Most I have to say were very good, although I can’t remember a single one right now… tick tick tick….. the seconds, the minutes, moved on and then, my persistence was rewarded... I got the green light!!!!

Then there was a frantic tap, tap, tapping of keys and scurrying around to find a credit card…Enter departure airport, click, enter destination, click, enter dates, click, enter number of passengers, click...Shock, horror, disbelief... “There are no available seats to this destination on this day” With a shaky hand I refreshed the page and a new flight popped up at the top of the list. With hand eye co-ordination only rivaled by John Wayne in his heyday, I clicked, confirmed and entered names, birthdays and the all important credit card number into the correct boxes and clicked one last time to secure my quarry but once again… Shock, horror, disbelief... “There are no longer any seats available on the flight you have chosen” I whipped my hands back up to the keyboard changed the departure date and began the whole click and confirm ordeal once again...”Your request is being sent to the airline for confirmation, please wait”...

I stared at the tiny squares on the screen that were ever so slowly changing from white to blue, indicating that the computer was thinking…Once again I heard the clock in my head counting off the seconds tick, tick, tick. Without warning the screen turned white and in the middle in small black letters was the answer that I had been hoping for “Your request has been confirmed please check your email for more details...”

I breathed a sigh of relief and fired up my email to check the details that would put me back on the Yellow Brick Road… One that in this fairy tale didn’t lead to Oz but to the land of Jaffas and volcanoes…. Look out Auckland here I come!!!

I don’t really think that we slept much that night; I really can’t remember much of that night except for the clicking marathon and that elated feeling that I had when my email account announced that there was one new mail in my inbox… Bliss… True Bliss maybe...

 

After the initial excitement had worn off and we had decided that it was far to early to be talking about packing suitcases and the like, the Yellow Brick Road had an under construction sign hung on it and the world returned to normal.

Of course there was excited chatter on both sides of the planet and there has been a constant exchange via Skype and everyone’s favorite social media site ever since but now with the day of departure in sight I almost can’t believe that it’s really all going to happen.

Wicked Witch of the West be damned… I've got my red shoes and I'm about to click them together three times...